COMIC / REVIEW: Cirque du Sogay

Allow me to preface this review by saying I have seen two tent-staged Cirque du Soleil shows before, and I was completely blown away by the stunning display of talent… that said, Cirque du Solei’s new arena-staged show entitled DELERIUM is the very reason that puppies are sentenced to burn in a fiery pit of darkness and pain for all eternity. I know this may sound like an extreme embellishment, and I sincerely wish I was joking, but for each minute that Delerium is being performed, Satan eats a thousand puppies!!!!! We literally paid $128.32 (per seat) just to shovel innocent little puppies into the belly of The Beast:

Original art by this dude

Now I know what you’re thinking; there is no way that a show by Cirque du Soleil could be bad enough to facilitate the eternal damnation of puppies… so I’ll just copy/paste a small segment of a review of the show so you understand how defunct this tripe truly was:

QUOTE FROM SITE:
The show features a man in a suit that is suspended above the stage from a balloon looking thingy for most of the evening; he periodically disappears into it partially, or entirely, only to be birthed out again. While suspended above the stage, he spends the better part of two hours either twitching or looking quizzical and wooden at the proceedings below.

Meanwhile, taking place on stage, is a combination of the following:
-everything that’s wrong with modern dance
-a musical ensemble that’s a cross between mediocre world music and mediocre rock
-soft-core gay porn

This is no exaggeration… the music was so bad that I was gritting my teeth in anger the entire time, and the dance was… well it wasn’t dance at all!!!! The “dancing” was actually just people shaking / twitching / looking confused, some jerk flying gracefully across the stage, two very muscular men hugging each other (way too tightly), dudes playing really bad guitar while strapped to a ceiling wire, a man in a red suit walking on stilts and talking in a fake / annoying language, a woman standing completely still in a giant dress that covered the entire stage, and several of the “dancers” walking very slowly across the stage and twitching their heads… because you know, walking slowly while twitching = art!

Still don’t believe me? Go to the official Cirque du Soleil DELERIUM website, and in the “Delerium preview” window on the right, watch the clip of Delerium… SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!?! At least 1/4 of the audience had left by the end of the show, and I think the remaining 3/4 only stayed because every seat in the house was over $100… as if staying throughout the entire show might somehow improve on this putrid excuse for art. I believe The Intergalactic Hustler summed up the entire show perfectly with the following comic:

Text for the visually impaired:
someone holds a sign that says “Cirque Hates You!”
there is a picture of a $100 bill being lit on fire and the guy lighting it says “Dude, I can’t believe we got away with that!”
the caption of the comic says “Delerium without all the smoke and mirrors”

I wish I had the power to stop the Delerium catastrophe, but it’s out of my control… Cirque du Sogay is too powerful, and Delerium will continue to pollute the world of art, and eventually Satan will consume all of the puppies on Earth. So go ahead America, keep coughing up $128.32 to keep Satan’s belly full of cute, adorable, innocent puppies. If you support Delerium, you support puppies suffering in the belly of Satan for all eternity:

Original picture by this place