COMIC: ABC’s “Lost” - Season 3 revealed

Be sure to checkout Masta G’s “joke” Lost theory which essentially involves the CIA running a secret island to create super drugs such as crack-coccaine, and the new super drug dubbed CRACKIJUANA which is so addictive that you take one puff and you a junkie for life. Tons of photoshopped madness… you’ll enjoy it, I promise!

Today is Masta G’s birthday, AND THE RETURN OF LOST TO THE AIR WAVES!!! In honor of its return, we’d like to express to everyone how much Lost sucks. Masta G and I used to be horribly addicted to Lost, despite its rather obvious flaws. That addiction has slowly faded into deep hatred. Lost’s producers are clearly milking the franchise for every dollar in ad revenue they can get, while leaving the fans stranded…. errrrrrr…. “Lost”

I can’t stand Lost because I’m pretty sure the writers think jump cuts and close-ups of dialating pupils will cover the fact that the show is poorly paced and badly written. The online game is a joke. And WTF was with the super-lame revelation of the purpose of entering the numbers into the computer? Locke entered those numbers for almost the entire season. He eventually grew disenchanted and toys with the notion of letting the timer run down… and now the hatch has imploded so what the hell was the point in the first place?!

We got commercials for the Season 2 finale blaring “The reason for the crash revealed!” and footage of some crazy stuff going down with the computer. Too bad the explanation…and the big revelation that they’ve hinted at for most of the second season…is given as part of a drunken speech by some dude. They decide to tie up this huge loose end with a drunken soliliquy? That’s just stupid. And then when Locke does let the timer run down it turns out it’s a big mistake and they have him say “Oh, I made a mistake?” Blaarg. We don’t even get to see the plane crash…they just show a dot matrix printer going haywire.

All of the visual tricks Lost employs are no substitute for a well-written show. They know we’ll lap it up because it’s “pretty,” even though it has no substance. It’s like putting Paris Hilton in a pair of reading glasses and insisting she’s a scholar.

Let’s take a peek into the writer’s latest meeting…

Text for the visually impaired:
(there is a picture of a dude pulling a script out of another dude’s ass, quoted saying) “ok, so it looks like next season everyone’s talking in pig latin”
The caption says “a peek at the development team hard at work on an episode of Lost”