Open Letter to 3% of Nature’s Graffiti Readers

Open Letters are posted every Thursday morning. For more, click Open Letters under Categories on the right.

O hai 3% of Nature’s Graffiti Readers! You are using Safari to look at our website. Whoa, whoa, whoa…. you should lean back a little, you don’t want to get emo tears on your new Apple Macbook Pro you got for Christmas (or “X-mas” as you call it when you’re around your parents). Wipe those tears off with your $50 black hoodie from Hot Topic and have another sip of emo juice (Starbucks Soy Peppermint Mocha, with a half squirt of white chocolate syrup). What the hell happened to your second mouse button anyway? Is that why you’re crying? Because you can’t right click?

32.9 % of our readers are at least 87 years old because they’re still using Internet Explorer. Hasn’t IE crashed enough already?

60.3% of our readers are turbo charged ultra mega super bona fide millionaire pimps because they use Firefox. Nice!

Love,
MastaG

PS: Your pants are too tight

The above image is GPL licensed, and was originally created by Steevven1 of Wikipedia.