Open Letter To People Who Say “Insure” Instead Of “Ensure”

O hai people who say “insure” instead of “ensure”! What exactly do you mean when you say “this new automated robotic packaging system will insure the delivery of our product on time for our vendors”? Are you proposing an insurance arrangement for the robotic packaging system? If so, you haven’t specified a deductible or percentage of the insured’s payment responsibility. You have overlooked many aspects of the insurance contract you have proposed.

It appears you failed 7th grade English. The bowels of our school systems have given fecal birth to your heinous literacy. Perhaps I’m being too harsh… maybe you’re still in 6th grade.

Also, for every time you say “for all intensive purposes” instead of the correct phrase “for all intents and purposes”, I’m going to defecate in the upper deck of your toilet.

Love,
MastaG

Open Letters are posted every Thursday morning. For more, click Open Letters under Categories on the right.