Howdy, faithful NG reader! We have been pretty busy as of late, certainly the lack of comics might be a big sign One of the big reasons we haven’t been making comics is because we are preparing to make the biggest move of our lives to Anchorage, Alaska! I have been offered a tech support job, and we plan to move in mid August. It’s going to be one hell of a big move. Please wish us luck, and when we are settled we’ll start making some more comics

Here’s something a buddy sent me recently, hehehhhehheheheheeehehheeeeeee:

Don’t get the mudshark reference? Read the Wikipedia article

Text for the visually impaired:
Comic title: “Rock Band, Groupie Edition”
Caption: “includes the following exciting accessories”
-USB Binaca simulator (Binaca is a breath spray), picture of a can of Binaca hooked up to a USB cable
-Wireless vibrating Mudshark, picture of a vibrating shark with a giant smile on his face
-10,000 pack of strawberry-flavored condoms, picture of condom box that says “10,000 pack of strawberry-flavored condoms, specialized for MEGA HOES”

Text for the visually impaired:
Title: Protect Ya Neck, the 36 chambers guide to self-protection
-Walk with a swagger, at least twice the size of your normal stance
-End all sentences with “nyuh” or “sonnnnnnn”
-Show your grill at all times
-Develop a tick in your neck
-Brandish a weapon at inappropriate times
Picture: guy with hat on backwards, displaying his teeth (”grill”), with his legs spread really far apart, holding a gun in the air saying “yo ho, pass me some mufuggin’ holy water sonnnnnnn”…. and a catholic priest saying “sir please, this is a place of worship”

Yep… first comic in like 6 months! More to come

Text for the visually impaired:
Title: How to go “green”
Step 1: throw out all your old “environmentally unfriendly” goods (pic of trash can with car, and house in it)
Step 2: Buy all new material goods that are slightly less destructive than your old goods, but probably took more energy to create than the energy you save from using them (pic of prius, solar panel on house, and “green” water bottle)
Step 3: Pretend you’re saving the environment, sort of (pic of guy saying “dude, i saved so much CO2 on my new house that i can fly to australia next week”, pic of another guy saying “Cool!… wait”)

sorry about the lack of comics and Open Letters recently… both myself and the I. Hustla have been insanely sick. plus i’ll be studying for Vista (uhhhh i mean… bloated version of XP) certifications soon so fair warning in case weeks go by with no posts!

Text for the visually impaired:

comic title: The Birth, Evolution, and Death of Intellectual Property

1st frame: Birth in xxxx B.C.: dude with robes says “i have an idea but nobody else can use it”

2nd frame: 1436: the printing press is invented. the pope is calling it “black magic” (this is an actual quote because the church was afraid of losing control over their “religion”)

3rd frame: 1982: chairmen of the MPAA testifies to the house of representatives. jack valenti is quoted saying “i say to you that the VCR is to the american film producer and the american public, as the boston strangler is to the woman home alone” (actual quote)

4th frame: 2000: Napster explodes in popularity, Metallica wants to eat all their fans. Metallica is quoted saying “they’re all pirates i tells ya!”

5th frame: 2004: RIAA declares war on the consumer with warrantless civil lawsuits

6th frame: December 21, 2012: HUMANS EVOLVE. picture of two dudes talking. first dude says “dude i can totally read your mind! this is awesome!” second dude says “dude i can totally read your thoughts too! so i guess this is the end of ‘intellectual property’. hey… why are you thinking of me naked on a unicycle juggling hamsters on fire?”

Text for the visually impaired:
picture: two kids running away from Jesus, screaming and crying. Jesus has a hand puppet with blood all over it and a thought bubble saying “damn stigmata”

wow… this looks oddly familiar. ALL HAIL BEESUS… THE ONE TRUE SON OF GOD

Text for the visually impaired:
caption: beesus loves you
picture: jesus with a beard made of bees

He always threw the best parties…

Text for the visually impaired:
top caption: The Three Miracles of Saint Thug
picture: a saint with an angry look on his face, and a bling bling cross around his neck
lower caption: (the three miracles) oregano into weed, grape juice into “purple drank”, and salt into cocaine

Seriously dudes… how hard is it to lift the seat? The next guy after you has to SIT ON YOUR PEE… GROSS

Text for the visually impaired:
top caption: “don’t piss on the seat*! every time you do, satan takes a crap in the upper deck of your toilet at home”
picture: satan taking a crap in the upper deck of a toilet, reading “Godless” by Ann Coulter and saying “aww man, this isn’t what I expected at all!”
at the very bottom of the * says “you too ladies”

It’s hard to believe that 7-11 can legally label what comes out of the spigot at the nacho-condiments-table as “beef”. Any meat that comes in a bag should be labeled as such… “bagged beef” seems acceptable. Do not eat this. Ever. Unless you wish to employ your farts as wallpaper remover.

Text for the visually impaired:
frame 1: picture of a dude dispensing “beef” onto his nachos from a spigot
frame 2: picture of spices being dumped into a vat that a cow is taking a shit in… thus insinuating that 7-11 just sells cow shit on their nachos

Yeah, I copied my previous drawing of Bush from the Satan Edits His Wikipedia Entry” comic, what can I say I’m feeling a bit lazy today Happy New Year!!!

Text for the visually impaired:
caption: Bush’s New Years Resolution
photo and text: Bush sitting behind a desk saying “I promise not to invade any countries for at least one month*” and the * says “except Iran, Syria, China, Russia, Norway, Venezuela, UAE, Mexico, Kuwait, Lybia, Algeria, and probably Canada”

What… it’s not like Santa or Satan exist anyway

picture of dude showering saying “dude, santa, wtf, i know you watch people and stuff but I’m 12 and this is just wrong
picture of santa saying “shut up and keep washing if you want that wii for xmas”