sorry about the lack of comics and Open Letters recently… both myself and the I. Hustla have been insanely sick. plus i’ll be studying for Vista (uhhhh i mean… bloated version of XP) certifications soon so fair warning in case weeks go by with no posts!

Text for the visually impaired:

comic title: The Birth, Evolution, and Death of Intellectual Property

1st frame: Birth in xxxx B.C.: dude with robes says “i have an idea but nobody else can use it”

2nd frame: 1436: the printing press is invented. the pope is calling it “black magic” (this is an actual quote because the church was afraid of losing control over their “religion”)

3rd frame: 1982: chairmen of the MPAA testifies to the house of representatives. jack valenti is quoted saying “i say to you that the VCR is to the american film producer and the american public, as the boston strangler is to the woman home alone” (actual quote)

4th frame: 2000: Napster explodes in popularity, Metallica wants to eat all their fans. Metallica is quoted saying “they’re all pirates i tells ya!”

5th frame: 2004: RIAA declares war on the consumer with warrantless civil lawsuits

6th frame: December 21, 2012: HUMANS EVOLVE. picture of two dudes talking. first dude says “dude i can totally read your mind! this is awesome!” second dude says “dude i can totally read your thoughts too! so i guess this is the end of ‘intellectual property’. hey… why are you thinking of me naked on a unicycle juggling hamsters on fire?”

Text for the visually impaired:
picture: two kids running away from Jesus, screaming and crying. Jesus has a hand puppet with blood all over it and a thought bubble saying “damn stigmata”

wow… this looks oddly familiar. ALL HAIL BEESUS… THE ONE TRUE SON OF GOD

Text for the visually impaired:
caption: beesus loves you
picture: jesus with a beard made of bees

He always threw the best parties…

Text for the visually impaired:
top caption: The Three Miracles of Saint Thug
picture: a saint with an angry look on his face, and a bling bling cross around his neck
lower caption: (the three miracles) oregano into weed, grape juice into “purple drank”, and salt into cocaine

Pure brutality from none other than Bert and Ernie! The music is by goregrind band Last Days Of Humanity, and the song is “A Divine Proclamation To End The Present Existence” from their 2006 release entitled “Putrefaction In Progress”… SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O hai people who say “insure” instead of “ensure”! What exactly do you mean when you say “this new automated robotic packaging system will insure the delivery of our product on time for our vendors”? Are you proposing an insurance arrangement for the robotic packaging system? If so, you haven’t specified a deductible or percentage of the insured’s payment responsibility. You have overlooked many aspects of the insurance contract you have proposed.

It appears you failed 7th grade English. The bowels of our school systems have given fecal birth to your heinous literacy. Perhaps I’m being too harsh… maybe you’re still in 6th grade.

Also, for every time you say “for all intensive purposes” instead of the correct phrase “for all intents and purposes”, I’m going to defecate in the upper deck of your toilet.

Love,
MastaG

Open Letters are posted every Thursday morning. For more, click Open Letters under Categories on the right.

I was searching for a way to batch download an entire album from WebShots.com and I ran across several non-working plugins, and a few non-existent pages. With some tinkering I found out a simple way to batch download albums without a premium WebShots account. The catch is that you can only download 28 photos at a time (the max number per page that WebShots allows), so if you have more than a thousand photos to download and you’re pressed for time you may want to consider the premium membership, at least temporarily until you’re done leeching.

Required software:

FireFox v2.x

Download Them All! (FireFox plugin)

GreaseMonkey (FireFox plugin)

Thumbs2Links (GreaseMonkey script)

Now that you have all the above programs installed, go to your WebShots album, and click the 28 pics per page link that looks like this:

Now, at the bottom right of the screen you should see a link that says Get Direct Links!, click that shniz noz, and scroll to the very bottom of the page and you’ll see links begin to populate. Give it about 10 seconds to complete and it will look something like this (with 28 links total):

Now right click anywhere in the frame, and click DownLoadThemAll! When the DownLoadThemAll window appears, make a check next to Images, set yourself a download directory, and press Start

That’s it! Like I said, it sucks that you have to go to every page of the album to do this, but it’s better than right clicking each one to download them individually!!!

May you have many loud and smelly farts,
MastaG

PS: if you want to download videos, in the DownloadThemAll window just click Additional Filters and enter .flv then play the .flv files with something like Riva FLV Player, or any other flash video player.

I about died laughing watching this!!!! You don’t have to be a Photoshop nerd to enjoy it.

via BoingBoing

Part 2 has been posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously dudes… how hard is it to lift the seat? The next guy after you has to SIT ON YOUR PEE… GROSS

Text for the visually impaired:
top caption: “don’t piss on the seat*! every time you do, satan takes a crap in the upper deck of your toilet at home”
picture: satan taking a crap in the upper deck of a toilet, reading “Godless” by Ann Coulter and saying “aww man, this isn’t what I expected at all!”
at the very bottom of the * says “you too ladies”

For instance, did you know that “In 2007 there were 5 storms classified as HURRICUNTS”?

I was very surprised to learn that “In the Criminal Law, automatism is WHEN MICHAEL BLOWS HIS DAD”

Not exactly news, but “In mathematics, an exotic R4 is a differentiable manifold that is homeomorphic to the Euclidean space R4, but CHERRY HILL HIGH SCHOOL TRACK TEAM FUCKS GOATS”

Holy ballfarts I love da Weekeepediaz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Open Letters are posted every Thursday morning. For more, click Open Letters under Categories on the right.

O hai 3% of Nature’s Graffiti Readers! You are using Safari to look at our website. Whoa, whoa, whoa…. you should lean back a little, you don’t want to get emo tears on your new Apple Macbook Pro you got for Christmas (or “X-mas” as you call it when you’re around your parents). Wipe those tears off with your $50 black hoodie from Hot Topic and have another sip of emo juice (Starbucks Soy Peppermint Mocha, with a half squirt of white chocolate syrup). What the hell happened to your second mouse button anyway? Is that why you’re crying? Because you can’t right click?

32.9 % of our readers are at least 87 years old because they’re still using Internet Explorer. Hasn’t IE crashed enough already?

60.3% of our readers are turbo charged ultra mega super bona fide millionaire pimps because they use Firefox. Nice!

Love,
MastaG

PS: Your pants are too tight

The above image is GPL licensed, and was originally created by Steevven1 of Wikipedia.

When we first got a cat she did this to us twice, and I couldn’t take it anymore… I was either going to turn our cat into violin strings, or just start feeding her at night. I’m glad I chose the latter